Why We Fear Habits

Dedicated to the memory of Stephen R. Covey.

It all started with a toothache. Enjoying a lavish all-you-can-eat dinner in the middle of a vacation with my family, I happily chomped into some peel-and-eat shrimp—and discovered I had not peeled as thoroughly as I should have. The result was a sharp pain in one of my molars, that sudden and unexpected kind of pain that scares as much as it hurts, thanks to its uncertain origin.

But in this case, I knew the feeling all too well. This strange toothache likely meant the beginnings of a chipped tooth, a minor dental malady I’d experienced the year before.

My Mom suggested I see the dentist ASAP upon arriving home. I resignedly agreed, reflecting on my decided lack of flossing since my last visit. I have an excellent dentist, and I have made it a sort of personal tradition to try to buoy his faith in mankind by showing for appointments with impeccable flossing habits—the Holy Grail of dentistry. Having kept a dreadful routine of biweekly or—I shudder to admit it—monthly flossing, I felt in no condition to visit the dentist any time soon.

But my Mom replied—and note this well, dear reader, because it is the core of what I have to say here—“Don’t worry. You can accomplish a lot in a little time.” I resolved then and there to floss that very night—which I just did before writing this. I may wake up tomorrow with slightly sore and swollen gums. It will be up to me to work through the initial phase of discomfort and ready myself for my impending dental visit. And if I stick to it, I will be fine. My Mom was right—a lot can be accomplished in just a little time.

We are afraid to revive neglected habits. Why? Because we fear that we will not be able to surpass or even reach our prior achievements. Can the former runner still run that 6-minute mile? Can the high school clarinetist still hit those high notes? Has the history buff forgotten who the 18th President was? It would take a long time to remaster these skills or relearn these fields of information, and always with the looming uncertainty in the background, the question of creeping Doubt: “Could you still be any good?”

The question, though, is irrelevant. People pursue passions because they love them, not just because they are proficient at them. Generally the two go together anyway, but even a rank amateur is still, as G.K. Chesterton pointed out, a “lover” of the thing pursued, because the word “amateur” literally means “lover.”

So if this is your fear, cast it out for the irrelevancy that it is. Perhaps you will only run an 8-minute mile now—but the point is, you’ll be running a mile again! And the same could be said for any revived skill or hobby.

The other fear we often face in reviving an old ability is more absurd, but perhaps even more common: we avoid reviving a habit simply because we fear we might not keep up the habit. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. We start a habit, it goes well for three days, or maybe a week—and then it all goes down the drain. Something comes up; life gets in the way, as it is wont to do. How is the busy working man or woman supposed to find time to pursue passions?

Hmm. This is a tough conundrum, isn’t it? Well, actually, no. It’s not. There’s a simple solution, and here it is.

Set aside a small amount of time each day (between 5 and 15 minutes) to devote to practicing/building/enhancing/expanding/exercising/refining/reviewing whatever it is that you want to improve. It’s not rocket science, but the two ingredients essential:

1. Small amount of time (5-15 minutes). Less than 5 minutes is so inconsequential as to be nearly pointless, and is easily overlooked or forgotten in a busy schedule. More than 15 minutes begins to be a serious problem for those same busy people. But 15 minutes or less is impossible to refuse. If someone can’t set aside 5 special minutes out of their day, they need to fix their schedule so that they can.

2. Everyday. Fitness guru Jack LaLanne, who died seriously ripped at the age of 96, always insisted that a healthy person work out every day—never miss a workout, even if it has to be a small one. Now for Jack LaLanne, this meant several hours of swimming and weightlifting. For us, it might be a 5 minute jump-rope session, 10 minutes of studying Spanish, or 15 minutes of noodling around on the piano. But the consistency is the point. In his excellent book The Rhythm of Life, Catholic author Matthew Kelly points out that coastlines are changed by daily, repetitive crashings of water against rock. One splash of water, no matter how large, will not reshape an entire coast. Only the reliable, regular waves, rolling in from the deep blue day after day, year after year, century after century, can change the shape of a continent. The force of habit, says Kelly, repeated day after day in a disciplined routine, can have the same effect by reshaping one’s life.

So why worry about dropping a newly-acquired habit? Set a modest goal, and go for it. If you don’t succeed with that, figure out why. If it was a problem of willpower, gather your spirit and try again. If it was a problem of circumstance, address the circumstance or alter the goal.

I believe that the world would be a much greater place if everyone was actively involved in some passionate pursuit of a hobby, skill, sport, art, craft, or otherwise that adds to the world in some way, even if it is just their own world or those the ones closest to them. The human being is a wondrous creation capable of many wondrous things.

So what are you going to start going today? Start a new hobby, or dust off an old one. Give yourself the opportunity you need to, in Stephen Covey’s memorable words, “sharpen the saw.”

Good luck, and God bless you!

Determinedly,

Joezilla

Hero

Humanity has always been captivated by the idea of the hero.  We have never stopped telling stories about heroes.  Why is that?  I think it is because we thrive on examples.  We can do a job much more effectively if we see someone else do it first.  In the same way, we can be better people if we see someone else model the right attitudes and behaviors.  So we look to heroes to give us that inspiration, that push in the right direction.  If our desire to be a hero is great enough, we start to live like a hero.  And living like a hero is the only way to become a hero.


Lately the movie Captain America has been on my mind.  In a strange way, I was pulled into the heartwarming but heart-wrenching story of the Cap.  But more than that, I was drawn to the character as he is portrayed in the film, as well as its mind-blowingly awesome sequel, The Avengers.


In Captain America you have the quintessential fish out of water.  Plunged into science-defying (but plot-satisfying) sleep for 70 years under polar icebergs, Captain America is thawed out to a rude awakening just in time to answer another call of duty: the Earth and its inhabitants are now threatened by an enemy both supernatural and extraterrestrial.  What does Cap do?  Does he mourn the lost promise of love he left behind in 1943?  Does he wallow in the unbelievable changes the world has gone through since his era?  Does he change who he is to blend in with his surroundings?

Well, yes to all of those, for a time.  He is human.  He mourns.  He wallows.  He even responds uncertainly to the pressure of his new surroundings.  But soon enough, when the need arises, Cap gets out of himself, suits up for action, and proceeds to risk life and limb for what he believes in, which is protecting the innocent, fighting injustice, and promoting the ideals of our free country.

God has used this fictional character to turn my heart toward an important truth:  Heroism is about doing the best thing possible whenever you have an opportunity.  But we also learn that a hero quickly becomes a loser (and sometimes an instrument of evil) when he starts to focus on himself.  What is inspiring about Captain America is that he never does this.  It's always about the mission, the objective, the well-being of others.  Self-sacrifice is not a stumbling block, not even the subject of a moment's hesitation.  Giving it all he's got is standard operating procedure.

In many ways, he reminds me of the very real Theodore Roosevelt, who said:

The true Christian is the true citizen, lofty of purpose, resolute in endeavor, ready for a hero’s deeds, but never looking down on his task because it is cast in the day of small things; scornful of baseness, awake to his own duties as well as to his rights, following the higher law with reverence, and in this world doing all that in him lies, so that when death comes he may feel that mankind is in some degree better because he has lived.

Was Theodore Roosevelt the real-life version of Captain America?  In his youth, he was a tiny whelp of a child, weakened by asthma.  Through sheer determination and unrelenting discipline, he conquered his weakness and grew into a brawny barrel of a man.  More importantly, he grew on the inside as well.  Roosevelt became one of the most dynamic, confident, and inspiring leaders this country has ever seen.  He represented our country to the world as a place of freedom and opportunity, looking out for the poor and downtrodden workers while refusing to dump all the country's problems on the rich.  He paraded a brand-new, state-of-the-art fleet of battleships around the world, painted stark white--a stunningly eloquent symbol of America's commitment to peace and its power to defend it against bullies.  Was Theodore Roosevelt Captain America?  I'm convinced.

Heroes like these, both fictional and real-life, point to the person I would call the quintessential human hero of our history: the Virgin Mary.  Catholicism teaches that Mary was conceived without sin, and lived a sinless life.  So great was her virtue that at the time of what would have been her earthly death, she was simply "assumed" bodily into Heaven.  No Purgatory, no penitence, no perfecting necessary.  She was simply the ideal that all the rest of us poor human saps should live up to.

Mary comes onto the scene in the Bible with such an inspiring message.  On her lips is the motto of all true heroes:  "May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)  This, ultimately, is what life is all about—discerning the will of God, our marching orders for life, and answering that call of duty.  Each day when we get up, we must spring into action, unhampered by negative pressures from both without and within, never losing sight of that purpose.  At the end of the day, if we have looked up to God and said "May it be done to me according to your word," and really offered our day in accordance with His will, then we are heroes.  And, ultimately, we are happy.

So I'd like to thank God for both Theodore Roosevelt, and all the people who contributed to the Captain America film.  Both of these rather macho figures ironically but understandably pushed me toward a greater devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and a more personal understanding of why she is given such great honor in our tradition.

I could talk about heroes all day.  But then I'd have no time to actually try to be one.  Perhaps you, too, need to connect with Home Base and figure out what exactly you're supposed to be doing.  I hope your communication is successful and clear.  See you in the trenches.

Hail Mary!

Joezilla

Man Versus Nature

Human beings are hard to please. There's just no satisfying us. Even when we finally find some measure of satisfaction, it seems that we grow tired of it and start searching for new and novel ways of meeting our needs (actually, in most cases, our wants). This sad statute not only applies to physical and emotional desires, but spiritual aspirations, as well; try as we might, we can rarely maintain a good outlook on life if we resort to the same means all the time.

This is rather dismaying news, particularly for those of us enlisted in the War on Unhappiness. New meaning is brought to our struggle as we realize that every day promises another battle to maintain a right view of things. As the Newsboys sing in their song "Rescue,"

Caught in a spell that's overcast
You gain perspective, it doesn't last
All of the time in this life
Can't loose the ties that blind you
They're new every day, old as the Fall…
And I was born in the mess of it all…

As the Newsboys so eloquently point out in referencing the Fall, this seemingly eternal unsatisfaction might be a part of Original Sin. We are too self-centered to realize the blessings of the present moment, and so we choose to focus on what's missing. This doesn't seem like how humans were originally meant to operate, and it certainly doesn't become any warrior who charges against the camps of Unhappiness. Thus, we must reach a concrete conclusion about how we are to proceed: if we want to beat Unhappiness, we have to develop an attitude that counteracts our nature. This attitude has to be one of simplicity, perspective, and gratitude. Notice that some of our steadfast allies have returned—Perspective, which alerts us to the larger world we're a part of, and Gratitude, which sets us down the right path, away from selfishness, anger, and evil. Now Simplicity joins our ranks, as the medium through which we can experience life. The more complex our experience becomes, the more energy we expend in living. Weighed down by expectations and obligations, we are forced to respond to life, rather than live it creatively (in The Seven Habits, Stephen Covey calls this "Living Proactively"). The more baggage we carry around, the less energy we have to be happy. And being happy takes work. "Happiness," as Aristotle wisely observed in my high school agenda, "is a state of activity." G.K. Chesterton puts it even more profoundly in The Man Who Was Thursday:

Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength in levity.

But where are we to find a guide for such an unnatural and difficult attitude? How can we possibly fight nature? Well, human nature can and must be fought at times, and this is one of them. Willpower is part of the answer. But the rest of the answer lies in a startling revelation—we can't do it alone. That's right. If we try to cultivate this attitude by solely our own efforts, we will fail after a short period of time. We need something more. Actually, we need Someone more.

Here is the beauty of Christianity, and the wisdom of Christ. Why did Jesus institute the Eucharist, and why are we told to receive it every week? Because we need it! Our frail natures cannot get by on their own. They need the nurturing hand of God to lead them back on course, the quiet confidence of Jesus to grant honesty and strength to their character, and the invigorating presence of the Spirit to spur them toward the selfless practice of cheerful compassion.

The Newsboys song we referenced earlier goes on to say this:

Then You rescued me, rescued me
Lord, with a touch of Your hand
Another captive freed again
Who else in Heaven could do this but You?
You rescued me, rescued me
Lord, with a love out of mind
Oh, You know I love it when
Everyday I am rescued again!

In short: what humanity lacks, God supplies. And so, victory in our current endeavor seems so much easier, so much more possible, than it did before. One might say we can even taste it, and one would be right, for that is exactly what we do every week at the altar.