God Bless You, You Idiot: Confessions of an Imperfect Catholic, Part I

The following is the first of a series of posts in which the frank confession of a fault paves the way to spiritual enrichment.  I hope that reading them proves as helpful to you as writing them does to me.

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A gray midwinter morning in Chicago, about 11:00.  I was driving to Loyola University, where I studied Theology for two years after college.  Driving from the clean, green, comfy suburbs into the gritty city was an experience I chose to see as an adventure, but sometimes a particularly dangerous driver would threaten to shatter my optimistic view.

Today was one of those days.  A fellow driver, speeding around me on a one-lane street via the the empty parking spaces by the curb, cruised ahead and turned off at a distant intersection.

A surge of anger within was followed by a mild flow of compassion for this impatient motorist, and I felt these words flow naturally to the surface of my thoughts:

God bless you...you idiot.

Those were the exact words.

I drove on, my heart expanding to feel a measure of compassion for this hurried traveler, and laughed at the oxymoronic nature of my "prayer."  But looking back, I realize that even then, my judgment against him remained solid and intact.  Who was I to judge this person?  How could I know, for a fact, whether or not he had a compelling reason to speed around me?  For that matter, how did I know it was even a guy?  I had assumed both the gender and the guilt of this fellow human being.

I assume a lot of things.  And I judge a lot of people.  This, in fact, is the first of many confessions I will be making in this series:  I am one of the most judgmental people I know.  I'll even go so far as to say that if I've met you, I've judged you.  Good, bad, or in-between, I have most definitely judged you in some way.  And I am sorry.

Judging actions is another word for morality, and it is our duty to make such judgments every day.  If we believe in our morality, then it is also our duty to take opportunities to encourage others to follow it.  Otherwise, why do we follow it ourselves?  But judging another person is not our job, and was in fact explicitly warned against by Christ.  My most grievous fault.

Sometimes, oftentimes, my humanity gets the better of me.  "God bless you, you idiot," that very human prayer that came straight from my heart, sums up quite nicely my condition as a Christian.  I've been baptized; my sins were forgiven; my new life has begun.  But like the kingdom of God that Jesus began on earth, my new baptized life has begun in time, and exists incompletely, imperfectly.  I am a fallen creature endowed with supernatural grace; my mundane life is sprinkled with droplets of the divine.  And though I believe the heavenly pull will prove stronger than any human force, I nonetheless find myself weighed down by nature from time to time.

The first step in fixing a problem is acknowledging it.  So in future entries of this series, allow me to get some things off my chest.  In so doing, I hope that you, Dear Reader, will find something that gives you hope and inspires you in your relationships with God, others, and yourself.

Sincerely,
Joezilla