A Random Idea That Awkwardly Popped Into My Head

Among the annals of recent linguistic trends, two of the most emphatically sudden additions to the American vocabulary are the popular usage of "random" and "awkward." Unless my social barometer is completely whacky, "random" describes unexpectedly felicitous events, as well as strange or unsolicited remarks or actions that have no rational precursor in a given interaction.
If you stopped reading that midway through, I don't blame you. I should be saving that kind of inflated verbiage for where I really need it, which is to say in academic papers. I don't know how much of it I have in me. Let's move on to the second word, which is the one I wish to focus on here.

"Awkward," like "random," possessed a clear and common definition before its recent induction into the cult of popular slang. The new definition now calls up negative, somewhat shameful connotations having to do with uncomfortable silences and accidental interruptions, as when two people begin speaking simultaneously. Since certain people are more prone to producing these situations, they sometimes earn the title of an "awkward" person. There was some phenomenon a few years ago titled "the awkward turtle," which even had a hand gesture to go along with it, but I never cared to learn what that was, so we will not go into it here. The point right now is to drive home the current sense of the word "awkward." Why I am even doing this, I don't know—because we all understand what it means anyway. Let's say it's for posterity. Anyway, I'm sure that even the posterity which may or may not read this understands now. So let's move on.

What makes a person awkward? Why is it that some people are awkward and some aren't? I was inspired with the answer earlier today. Partly because I have been both the recipient and the cause of awkwardness, the reason became clear: awkwardness is caused by people waiting too long to say what they want to say. This itself is caused by a lack of confidence to speak on the part of the awkward person. Think about it; suppose I am speaking to someone and a joke occurs to me regarding something they just finished saying. There is a momentary cadence in the conversation, the perfect opportunity for me to utter my humorous gem—and I let it pass by, because I'm still humming and hawing over whether the person will get the joke or not. If I were confident enough in myself to just say it and hope for the best, then there would be no problem. But as it is, I've waited too long by the time I decide to say it, and just as I begin to speak, so does the other person. Dang it! So awkward! What is one to do?

Suck it up, and next time just talk when you feel like it. People should never neglect their natural intuitive senses. This sort of intuition is fascinatingly apparent in any human conversation, and the people who communicate best are the ones who understand how to listen (and how to prioritize listening) and when to speak. I am not saying that I'm a master of this art (few people really are), but we've all had our moments. Good luck to you in your future conversations; may your awkwardness be rare and laugh-inducing, and may your dinners be always tasty. Wow, that was random.